‘So when are you planning to have children?’

It’s not a question, really. It’s a demand. “I had to suffer and sacrifice my life (opportunities, freedom, joy), so should you.”

I have always been puzzled by women’s need to force others to comply with something that hurt them. I wonder whether such women are simply cruel, or whether society’s indoctrination, conditioning, and threats are that powerful. I suspect it’s a combination of both. If jealousy, and knowing that you gave in and paid a heavy price, weren’t eating away at someone, they wouldn’t be so eager to keep reinforcing these attitudes.

So the not-mothers, already questioned and scrutinized, are also left to fend for themselves. I wonder how women reply to such inquiries. “We haven’t decided yet.” “We’re not ready yet.” “Oh, there’s still time.” I wonder if any of them says, “Never.” It would be refreshing. Personally, I would rather respond with questions of my own: “Why do you ask?” and “Why did you have children?”

It’s a battle, really – one that doesn’t die down or transform into something else, like societal adjustment or a reevaluation of what is demanded of people.

So the “deviant” ones continue being alienated and wait for the next dismissal or attack. Or for the next, “So when are you going to have children?” It is tiring, baffling, and disheartening. Somehow I always believed that human compassion would prevail. Apparently not when most choose self-erasure in return for what they claim is safety and comfort within society. It’s hard to judge that. But it also makes me admire those who choose to disobey social pressure even more.

2026